KLM 810.

as if it wasn’t a weird enough year to begin with, being left alone is probably never the best idea for Morbid Me. today she flies away. i’m frustrated, depressed, guilty… all the grief emotions simultaneously… because it was just too short the time spent with her. and she is going away for just too long.
i want to cuddle her, and hold her. want to watch silly vcds and sing silly songs and salsa and belly dance with her. i want her to fall asleep in my arms, like she used to when i wasn’t working. (now, i fall asleep way before she does).
i miss her. my own angel. please come back safely.

i’ve abandoned her so long, she’s finally avenged herself by abandoning me. and now i feel so lost without her in this empty house, i feel what it’s like for her when i’m on call. bleeding from the outside in. wishing, waiting, hoping. and yet, knowing she won’t turn up at the doorstep anytime soon. three weeks is just too long. i’m sorry for all my overnights. i’m sorry i’m always too tired to be by your side and to be your mom. i’m sorry. really i am.

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