i tripped.

one week before submission of our portfolio, the ticket to sitting for exam, for qualifying, for being a doctor, for all this misery to end, my pen drive went missing. i distinctively remember it in my bag, when i was trying to juggle my books, labcoat and wear the earphones of my iPod as i walked home. after the music saturated my ears and momentarily clouded my mind, i thought nothing of it. after busying myself with a lot nonsense as i usually do, i finally convinced myself the faster i work on my reports the faster it would end. so i searched for the pendrive which held all my documents, the updated ones at that. Nothing in the bag. Hmmmm… my labcoat perhaps. Nothing. a raised eyebrow in alarm, but in no major panic. finally, after emptying everything and arranging them neatly on the table, still nothing!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…
ok, breathe… don’t panic. just retrace your steps and you will find it. nothing to worry. not like you haven’t lost things before…
i walked out back toward uni, my head fixed downwards, focusing on everything that might resemble a white pendrive with cherry red string. and then i headed back, in the same way, perhaps a little slower so as not to miss anything.
i came home, and ransacked the hall,and my labcoat, and my bag. Nothing. in my head came all the songs on God giving and taking away. and how i will still praise Him. and you know what, i just did that. nonstop. another walk out and my head hung lower than before, not focused, but more disappointed.
frustrated, i sent messages to ask for prayer. SOS, please help. If He doesn’t listen to me, maybe if we all plead together it would be better.
came home, growing even more depressed by the minute. no one could talk to me, not even Pa. i couldn’t even journal. drew something instead. felt the whole future, or what i perceived as my future crumble right before my eyes.
thanks to those who prayed. and those who made me go out and have fun to destress. angels in disguise, even if i tease you all sorts of unheavenly names…
i didn’t find my pen drive. and no back up of files. gotta start from scratch. but it isn’t the circumstance. it never was about the circumstance. it is the mindset, the heart and the ability to go on… that strength is supernatural. Thanks GOD, for that.

PS: anybody in Batu Pahat found a white pendrive? you wouldn’t want it. Got a virus inside, and crazy portfolios you wouldn’t dare hand in…

Uncategorized |