Counting Down…

As always, there are times of reflection interspersed during seasons of business, and work. Such times have arrived, as portfolios and corrections mount up in front of me, creating a wall between me and the mattress, and millions of forms come flying in your direction as suddenly, you are introduced into the working world, with forms and forms and more forms.

And then i wonder, is this how it has all come down to? all the slogging, all the sleepless nights, or worse, the torture of being sleepy and yet, unable to sleep because there are so many things to read up… all the events and functions missed in sacrifice to the conscience, hoping that would ease the stress and relieve the anxiety… the distance between relationships ever expanding, as there was neither time to talk nor spare of but a fleeting thought…

now, when the finishing line is just yonder, i wonder, am i gonna trip and fall? or will i make it through, unscathed?

i have come to learn a lot about people and their priorities, and how their demons show when you least expect it. i have come to honour people who truly don’t demand it, yet have shown such admirable qualities, i hardly realize i am still in Batu Pahat. i have come to understand, timing, and character are essential in everything we do. that even though we work our best, if we haven’t the character and it isn’t the right timing, it just won’t work well.

i have come to see how coveted we are as pofessionals, and how we often demand so much, as if God Himself ordained us a level higher than others. and i have realized that, sometimes i lose my humanity. seeing a close friend who just suffered a stroke could not pull my heart strings the way it did years ago. but it is easy to fall back on your knees and retrieve that flesh, that praecordium that makes us human back again. and so, periodically, that is exactly what i need to do.

finally as i start to end my posting here, i begin opening my eyes. like a toddler brought to the play ground for the first time, i feel like the world is out there, waiting for me to explore and PLAY! There will definitely be other people around - bullies, parents, nice kids, preschool teachers… new relationships to forge, old friendships to rekindle and a whole lot of FUN! Let the GOOD times roll…

BRING IT ON!!!

Ps: I have been toying with the idea of going to a crazy, work-filled hospital, simply because it is near, but more importantly, because of the work… such an adventure ahead…

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