Crop Circles.

It’s a Monday night, more importantly, a night-before-uni-starts-again.

Every week i look forward to the weekend and going home to my baby. Every Sunday, i swing into depression knowing i would have to leave her, just so i can go back to Batu Pahat, and pretend i have a life there. My weekend got extended this time, and i am ever grateful. Just that, the parting this time is so difficult.
I was thinking of writing a melancholic it’s-all-about-me entry, of how no one understands how i feel and no one could quite relate. But instead, I want to stand proud by my baby girl.
Imagine, in all my years of living, compared to those three short years of her life, she has found more courage, wisdom and patience to endure what is just as difficult for her as it is for me. Mummy’s Angel. She maximizes her weekends with me, and although for the first night that i am away she almost always cries herself to sleep, she picks up. And moves on. Something i can’t do if i am not fully exhausted or preoccupied.
Today as I was clipping her fingernails, she received a phone call. Little Miss Adult, sat on my lap and coolly handled the conversation as she were a teenager talking gossip with her bestest mate. Naturally, being a mom and being woman, i eavesdropped on such a conversation (can’t blame me, i was just there!). She was just responding as a matter-of-factly, that she did not want me to leave, because she loves me so much and she missed me. the air of her voice, seemed as it if it were just about the weather. But i nearly choked. being all sentimental is after all, me.
She loves me, i thought.
That, was enough for me to make this Semester work. And so here i am, giving it all i’ve got. ‘Cause i want to get out of here and graduate, and kiss my little girl’s head, and make her proud.
‘Cause i love her too. More than words can say. And nothing would tear us apart.

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