Forgivenness.

A subject close to my heart, but far from my will. Possibly the only thing that keeps us from loving everyone.

A combination of our hurtful pride, and the mere association of feelings and memories, we always rationalize. "I will never forgive her. Not after what she did to me."

On the other hand, we keep counting the times we forgive, hoping to reach the ultimate 77, so we can stop there. Or so we think.

I find it so difficult to forgive blatant assaults to my emotions. Especially since the very shards that poke deep into my being once belonged to my heart. More so when The Accused has recurrent episodes of "plunge-a-knife-into-my-heart-itis".

It is like setting an IV access. (You know, where they run fluids and blood into your body… yea, more medical stuff. Can you blame me, spending 20 hours a day thinking, talking and doing medic stuff?) The more times you try to get it right, the more frustrated. And imagine the patient too! Worse still if you decide to MANIPULATE the needle, looking for the right vessel… Both are frustrated and in pain, and nothing gets done.

Uncategorized |