You. (random babblings of an emotionally stressed student)

December 18th, 2006

You notice i am around. Yet do you realize my gaze hardly seems the same?
Why have you not shown enough confidence in me, to reason with me, over a meal, perhaps?
I see your masquerade, I know something lies yonder, will you allow me the satisfaction of knowing. After all, it is you that aroused this interest, and you alone can quench this thirst. This innate desire. Overwhelms me.
I see your poker face and call it. If you can hide then so can i. Perhaps I am banking on the hope that your curiousity is as piqued as mine. Perhaps I gambled too deep this time.
Unretracted, what has been felt cannot be unfelt. What has crossed imagination to perpetual thoughts, cannot be revoked. What has opened an attic window, a sliver of chance, shall it be thence closed?
Who sees the future, but the One Almighty? Should i plead, will he grant me that which i so desire? in persistence i seek Him, fearing my yearning would turn into obsession, from faithfulness and unceasing prayer. He knows, as i humbly ask.
what then, should i conclude as to this matter? To leave it as is, would be fatalistic, or in a way, of sure faith. To pursue, would be too forward, too forboding, even desperate; in another sense, working toward my aim. In this dilemma of gray lines here and everywhere, dare i step ahead? dare i still remain?
To lose would pain me, yet to try and to fail - oh that my heart cannot resume its function again. Seem it bleak my perspective, yet the fear of any decision overshadows the brilliance of joy, should victory be mine.

does any of this make sense? if it does, get yourself warded to the nearest Psychiatric Hospital, with Form C (self admittance).




2 Responses to “You. (random babblings of an emotionally stressed student)”

  1.   Intan on December 18, 2006 8:50 am

    gene, i will fill in the same form and we admit together for some shock treatment… *looking out at the moon* … what do we have to loose?

  2.   Joni on December 22, 2006 2:11 am

    oh im stealing this.and looking up this wonderful Form C.

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