disappointment takes its toll.

You know you’re not a patient person when feeding a child becomes a major chore. You know you’re not a patient person when egomaniacs, no matter how much a friend he was initially, Pisses the holy socks off you. You know you’re not a patient when waiting for someone to pick you up boils you over, and your whole evening is ruined. You know you’re not a patient person when your good day turns sour with a click of the mouse, or when your msges or nudges are unheeded. I know for a fact, that I am not a patient person. Which qualifies me, i think, for grace. As a doctor, I should be in the Trauma Dept.

I thought it was the biggest ordeal waiting for buses during my attachment. Even though i was given the leniency of coming in at anytime i wish (and still got a great review), I couldn’t stand the fact i had to wait for something more than five minutes. I know we all live in an express world where everything is timed for efficiency. Yet i can’t help but wonder how do most people who rely on public transport live with themselves wasting so much precious time?

Now I know He keeps surprising me with more and more each day. raise up the bar as soon as i’ve gotten the hang of it. I’m not one for criticizing primadonnas and divas who think they’re all that, and i will always bend over backwards for friends whom i believe are worth it. and most times, i’m not wrong - they are always worth it… That is, until I’ve met my match. the more i bend the more he demands of it. the typical prick who picks on you, and never forgets. one wrong move and you’re guilty for the rest of his life. and dun bother looking for an audience with the king, cos he ain’t gonna forget, and neither will he forgive.

Man, the first time i met him he was all weird. It took ages to actually get on his "warm" side. most people consider it the achievement of a lifetime. And i was grateful for his friendship. But then due to his most unstable PMS not testosterone-driven (seeing as he probably has only baseline levels of it), somehow something i did which i am clueless about ticked him off, and lo and behold, i’m the sworn enemy.

Friends to me are few and far between. Acquaintances, well that’s
another story (some i shamefully admit i can’t even remember their
names). Only a few make it from that level higher. Surprisingly he was
one of them. And i do a lot of things for my friends, so covering for
his moods and being his PR wasn’t a big thing.

I don’t get it really. somethings in life are worth fighting for, so i thought. so i msged and i smsed. i called and i tried being nice. Mr. Talk-to-the-hand decided i’m so not worth the trouble. So he decides to ignore me. In every single way. I cannot believe it.

It amazing how you can get so pissed, that at the end of it, who cares? that you fume and fume and boil and bubble, but eventually, nothing is going to change. Because i thought that even though chances are he will piss me off in uni, it’s beneath me to get back at him. initially thought of how to permanently ruin his life. and i can definitely think of ways to do that. given the temperature inside, i would gladly go out of my way to cruelly torture him every day. Yet i’m not going to.

This blog entry was just designed to make me think more about the situation. Not really to update you who are clueless, nor to send our warning signals to all who wish to follow in this one man’s trail. To forgive this guy takes love. to be patient, even more love. i am not sure i can cope with it. but i gotta. Love covers a multitude of wrong…

Love

1If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If
I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all
knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not
love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,^[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love
never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where
there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it
will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When
I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I
reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind
me. 12Now we see but a poor
reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know
in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

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