The brain plays dead when the heart calls.
My counselor once told me that the greatest distance is
always from the mind to the heart. I didn’t think it true, being the rebellious
and strong-willed person I was. Now, things make sense. Rationality plays no
part in crushes and puppy love, especially when chemistry and hormones abound.
The difficulty one has in making decisions are not so much that the options are
equally attractive, rather it’s the choice between the mind and the heart.
Logic and emotions. For most people, people who long and want company, people
who are dependent in personality, the heart always wins. Procrastination in
decision-making leads to compromise, and finally the emotions get the better of
him/her. How often that is the case, and how tragic the ending.
The problem lies herein ourselves. Blame not culture, be it
our raising, or the Pop-culture so to speak. Our innate personality, and the
experiences we have have moulded us to becoming the person we are, taking the
actions we take, saying the things we say, thinking the way we think, and
responding the way we do. Why else, pray, do the rapist rape seemingly innocent
people, who no doubtedly provoke such an attack? And how come other people in
the same situation would not have done that? And why can a touch and a hug mean
totally different things to different people? I am no psychologist,
psychiatrist or clairvoyant, yet I believe we have the power to choose.
That brings us back to our choices. Why do we let our hearts
overrule, when we know most often than not, it will only bring us misery? Why
do we choose to inflict pain, but overlooking the logic of events and correctly
respond? Truth be told, there is no real answer. It is a delicate interplay of
emotions and logic that would result in the best possible answer. And
throughout our life, that is exactly what we practise to do. Sometimes the
emotions get the better of us, and we become overly passionate. Sometimes too
much logic in our response, and we make unlife-like choices. Both ultimately
end in suffering. The key is a good balance between the two.
I, of course, don’t have the answers. I am still trying not
to hurt people by being too much of myself, and at the same time, not losing
myself to the stereotypes of this world. Yet, till the day I die, I am afraid,
I won’t quite be perfect.
To the people I have hurt, past, present or future, I am
sorry. Forgive me. And take care not to let the experience leave you without
impact. We can always learn something from whatever life takes us through. I am
a veteran at that. I know.
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