Mary and her lamb.

Mary had a little lamb,

little lamb, little lamb,

Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow.

And everywhere that Mary went,

Mary went, Mary went,

and everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go.

It followed her to school one day

school one day, school one day,

It followed her to school one day, which was against the rules.

It made the children laugh and play,

laugh and play, laugh and play,

it made the children laugh and play to see a lamb at school.

And so the teacher turned it out,

turned it out, turned it out,

And so the teacher turned it out, but still it lingered near,

And waited patiently about,

patiently about, patiently about,

And waited patiently about till Mary did appear.

"Why does the lamb love Mary so?"

Love Mary so? Love Mary so?

"Why does the lamb love Mary so," the eager children cry.

"Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know."

The lamb, you know, the lamb, you know,

"Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know," the teacher did reply.

the problem with most things is that it’s is always inadequately quoted… i never knew these last two stanzas existed… and most people know only the first…

Entertainment Live!

you know for those talent scouts and what nots who need to find talent, IMU Seremban is a highly recommended place. be it chicks or hunks, singers, musicians or dancers, this place is SMOKING!
we had our IMU Music Night on Thursday. and it was a MUSIC night!

i feel like i’m writing an article for a newspaper or something, but this seriously needs highlighting. i was ecstatic, and truly my senses were intoxicated (the theme was Intoxicate Your Senses)!i don’t think thanks had to go to the committee much since it was truly the participants who awed me. so i shan’t waste my precious space. however, Erica and Joy did an excellent and efficient job handling the multimedia and mics and what nots that i’ll never truly figure out.

Of course, that being said, you must realised i too was an active participant… being a classic jazz fan, i was determined to instill a Frankie tune by all means possible. so my two frens and i (i didn’t ask their permission so won’t publish their names just yet) did our rendition of Me and my shadow. now unless you are a true fan of Frank Sinatra, you probably would have only heard of Robbie Williams’ cover, from Swing when You’re Winning. some just sit puzzled - Frank who? nonetheless…

I can’t give an exhaustive commentary on the whole night, but my favourites were mostly from my beloved batch, c105, partly because most of the events were performed by C105 people… but that is not the point!

Emily et. al - GDM (Gambate Dance Machine), did a dance by some Korean guy, which i thought was so good. the four energetic dancers, Emily, Tziq, Sasha and Frienky swooned the audience with the smooth moves and sexy butt shakings.

Choon Seng and Shungs did three amazingly fantastic songs, amazingly and fantastically. i have never been so crazy about a performance in my life; for sure there would be a fanclub soon. the guitar sounded immaculate, simulating the perfect live and unplugged concert of the real Goo Goo Dolls, Foo Fighters and Oasis, all in one. and of course, what more the vocals of dear Choon Seng, who could serenade the vilest of Snow Queens, casting a spell over them with merely his voice.

Kok Lim, Way Tern and this other junior (his name is Saw Chia Liang - i have never known he existed prior to this; but boy, how he made his presence shown!), took classical Chinese instrument playing to a whole new level, and they keep every heart thumping to the beat of lively and truly remarkable songs. one particular point i would like to make is that, this junior, whom i’ve never known before, blew me away when he played the first song with the keyboard, accompanying Kok Lim’s Erhu to Bumblebee. then he switches to the guitar for a classical Cinese song, which i have no clue what the title was, but had the energy of the first song. for the last song, which literally meant, Horse Race, he took out his Chinese flute! gosh this guy is GENIUS!!!

Kavin, Pui and Choon Seng, were the typical CantoPop guys. but the talent that you never saw behind these three as we yielded our ears to their melodious voices completely captivated our audiences. truly made the night one to remember, and we can never look at them the same way again.

Lynda and Pei See made dueting a medley of songs easy. and they looked good doing it too. enjoyable!

there were a lot of performances which i can’t think of right now, but the last highlight for me was two particular dancers in the Salsa: smokin hot Sunila and "Lax Hips" Chee Wing. oh my goodness… it was steaming hot in that auditorium just watching those two. a pity they weren’t dancing together. or maybe not, as they had to spread the talent across the stage… but wow… thankfully i got a pic of the hot sunila. unfortunately we can’t view it on my flickr just yet as i haven’t obtained it from my very trustworthy source.

it’s saturday night, and although somehow i do believe i have traces of early onset Alzheimer’s, i can’t get that night out of my mind. it’s still there, a teasing reminder that as the music plays, so the heart is refreshed. i enjoyed every moment. thanks to the wonderful participants.

** there was a performer who didn’t make it for the music night. too busy and too shy… but she is definitely a singer, and a keeper… another hottie… (all dato siva’s fault lar… hahahah)

*** Kudos to our famous Comeback emcees, Jill and Vijay for doing an excellent job, being funnily LAME and wonderfully entertaining. Especially to Jill who sang Imagine Me Without You, an excellent song by Jaci Velasquez that got stuck in my head intermittently eversince she sang it during audition. wow…

to the moon and back.

blow me over and let me see…

heck it with the world i say. why bother with this compromise of a life if all you receive for your struggles is plenty of strife and hurt?

fly me to the moon instead and then you will see, the perfect perspective life should have, for me and for you. for the Now and for the Future.

this act of randomness would probably cost me half of my faithful audiences, yet i will still publish it. here’s to knowing what the real mind gene has is really like. crazy, weird but somewhere weaved between the words lie simple words of wisdom in the darkest of meanings.

welcome to the real world. gene’s in da house!

muaks!

would i lie to you?

should i have known this would be
would i lie to you?
that despite my every bargain and plea
the impossible i cannot do?

do i want to be far from the love i have
what can i say to you?
that all that loves you has died and left
or would i just lie to you?

i stay silent as a grave and rot
and hope in time i know
how to stand up and do what i could not
to avoid all those nasty hurtful blows.

blow me away dear Mighty Wind
for i don’t know where to go
i wish it were so easy but i’m afraid i’m all tinned
like the rest of the sturgeon’s roe.

here’s my resignation but i can’t give in
drowned and shekelled i feel faint
to who can i go, who knows where i’ve been
who can appreciate sinner from saint?

troubled, weary, here you are my precious dear
in my time i wanted to run away too
somehow i know all that u worry, hurt and fear
dear child would i lie to you?

i’ll bring you closer to Home where you belong
if only you would just hang on
i know what has happened, it’s not right nor wrong
it’s past and forgiven, it’s long gone.

come back to me, and hold on to me
would i lie to you?
brighter days come soon you will see
soon your skies would turn right back blue.

i love you my dear. that is that.

control.

is there a moment when your life feels so bound, so held together by others, and not one portion to call your own? this is one of those days for me. every word uttered, you have to comply. even the silent commands demands your obedience. in frustration i keep trying to be Me, with my rules and my opinions. without trying to please others, with my own boundaries and just to live my life my way. it’s not like i’m tattooing my sacral regions or piercing my nipples (pardon the language, it is a body part though). why is it so hard to do wat i want to do? sigh… why is it beyond me to disregard what people expect? why can’t i just DISobey? because of what i have been taught? because of my innate sense? torn between the flesh and Spirit, for my sanity, for me. sigh…

poetry of reflection

f"Such is the role of poetry. It unveils, in the strict
sense of the word. It lays bare, under a light which shakes off torpor,
the surprising things which surround us and which our senses record
mechanically." - Jean Cocteau (1889-1963) French Writer, Filmmaker,
Artist

i wonder sometimes how i would fare with written communication, had i not known poetry… it is so bold and yet so gentle. all words have meaning but only to the discerned mind.

for the release of the heart and of the mind…

brought down for a reason,
living still and very much kicking,
what is there for this very season,
while the wounds still fresh still a-licking?

knowing the purpose makes it seem easier
yet i fear my Almighty God who knows
much rather see me stumble and falter
till every weakness has been exposed.

changed lifestyle so they say is all about doin the right thing
the thoughts, response and actions should be just right
what is much hidden from "they" is that this is an everyday thing
not just when the others are in sight.

am still learning how to cope with myself, with my Van
to show the people around me that i am strong
then i realise i keep trying to prove i can
when i have been leaning on Him all along.

true, my friends have been with me all this time
thankfully too, else who would wipe my tears
yet the bigger picture is of the One Sublime
who let it all happened then brought me through and calmed the fears.

so this Easter, remember not the bunnies and eggs all coloured and sweet
and don’t even thank God for the holidays (if you have one)
‘cos there is a reason if your life is hell and you look all beat
and you know, deep down, God’s not done.

so many thing in my life is yet to be through
and many obstacles i have yet endured thus
the real deal is not what, but Who
will lead me, and guide me through when life seems bust.

someone once said, i live a blessed life, tis true
about what i know, it is far more than many others would know
for days that my mood hit the sky oh-so-blue
and other days, when i face my foe.

meaningless, meaningless, the Teacher exclaimed,
everything in life is meaningless
he definitely makes sense to the audience it’s aimed
except to know the Saviour, then would truly be blessed.

happy easter to all… rather resurrection sunday. (cos we celebrate the risen Jesus, not the easterish things… :P)

judge not!

Judge Not!
Ever feel like shouting that out loud? i do. all the time. i think it’s more than just someone on your nerves, more than being annoyed but a crude slap to the face from selfish, pompous people with no feelings of humility left in any bone in their body.
as most of the readers of this humble blog would know, i am so atypical (my fave word btw!). i’m different without trying but i like to make a point in standing out too. i’m just not your average person, no matter how you rationalize it. i guess you can blame it on a variety of things, but then, i am glad for who i am.
so why then do i have to measure up to others in this rat race? why does being like everyone else have to be my goal in life? after all, being a Christian, i have no other gold standard other than Christ Himself. so who is to tell me to drive a certain way, or to wear clothes a certain way? who is to say if my taste is weird or my leisure choices are condemnable? i am me.
truthfully, i know i am changing. have been since the day i was born. but that doesn’t take my Me-ness away. i’m still gene, genieve, genie, genevieve, mei ching… i’ll still be that when i lie cold and stiff in my mossy grave. you see, the trivial choices people are picky about are the little quirks that excite others about me. so why take that away and replace it with the norm?
i guess the reason i am writing this is because i don’t like it when people feed me their opinions and impose their beliefs on me. i like going out. i like wearing clothes that flaunt my figure. i like eating and gorging myself on fatty food. i love dancing, in my own way (though it is not that good :P) and i love singing even when i go off key! why change me? i don’t want to change that.
the things worth changing are the life choices, not all the choices in life. if we keep worrying about every single detail in life, why don’t we just genetically programme our lives from the very beginning?
now don’t get me wrong. i do appreciate slaps in the face, should i be making a grave mistake, or if i am negligent in something. in fact, i need that a lot. wake up calls from my crazy manic phases, since a gentle nudge sometimes just would not do. but if you interfere with my personal decisions and expect me to look at you with eyes filled with gratitude, you have another thing coming. so the next time you shake your head in disapproval because i went for a massive drinking orgy, or wore a neon yellow bra and a see through shirt, be reminded: I BITE!

The brain plays dead when the heart calls.

My counselor once told me that the greatest distance is
always from the mind to the heart. I didn’t think it true, being the rebellious
and strong-willed person I was. Now, things make sense. Rationality plays no
part in crushes and puppy love, especially when chemistry and hormones abound.
The difficulty one has in making decisions are not so much that the options are
equally attractive, rather it’s the choice between the mind and the heart.
Logic and emotions. For most people, people who long and want company, people
who are dependent in personality, the heart always wins. Procrastination in
decision-making leads to compromise, and finally the emotions get the better of
him/her. How often that is the case, and how tragic the ending.

Another
heart cracked in two…

 
The problem lies herein ourselves. Blame not culture, be it
our raising, or the Pop-culture so to speak. Our innate personality, and the
experiences we have have moulded us to becoming the person we are, taking the
actions we take, saying the things we say, thinking the way we think, and
responding the way we do. Why else, pray, do the rapist rape seemingly innocent
people, who no doubtedly provoke such an attack? And how come other people in
the same situation would not have done that? And why can a touch and a hug mean
totally different things to different people? I am no psychologist,
psychiatrist or clairvoyant, yet I believe we have the power to choose.

That brings us back to our choices. Why do we let our hearts
overrule, when we know most often than not, it will only bring us misery? Why
do we choose to inflict pain, but overlooking the logic of events and correctly
respond? Truth be told, there is no real answer. It is a delicate interplay of
emotions and logic that would result in the best possible answer. And
throughout our life, that is exactly what we practise to do. Sometimes the
emotions get the better of us, and we become overly passionate. Sometimes too
much logic in our response, and we make unlife-like choices. Both ultimately
end in suffering. The key is a good balance between the two.

I, of course, don’t have the answers. I am still trying not
to hurt people by being too much of myself, and at the same time, not losing
myself to the stereotypes of this world. Yet, till the day I die, I am afraid,
I won’t quite be perfect.

To the people I have hurt, past, present or future, I am
sorry. Forgive me. And take care not to let the experience leave you without
impact. We can always learn something from whatever life takes us through. I am
a veteran at that. I know.

denied.

Forbidden fruit has always tempted man. Right from the very
beginning. Now, everything is permissible, seeing as our world has been
“liberated” from the traditions and laws of days past. Yet the gratification of
forbidden fruit is yet too enticing… so Man seeks to cross the line already
pushed far off. Sometimes, it goes too far. Even for people without boundaries
to accept.

No always means No. It cannot mean yes or maybe. Only No.
People who cannot take that disrespects the boundaries of others. People who
deny that might as well try to jump off a bridge to deny the law of gravity.
And people who ignore that are the people who are just waiting for
repercussions.

Denial is never the way. So deal with it.