The Garden Needed Tending.

after what seemed like an eternity i finally found the motivation and inspiration to write out another entry. drums banging through the speakers imitating palpitations, and reading countless blogs all at one go, i realise there is much to say that has not been said.

there was this portion of Scripture i read recently that now hangs in front of my study desk as a constant reminder of His grace. it reads

"and it shall come to pass like as i have watched over them, to pluck up, and to break down, and to throw down, and to desroy and to afflict; so will i watch over them to build, and to plant, saith the Lord."

totally whipped me off my feet reading that. we always portray God as this kindly old granddad who willingly accepts all our misbehaviour and will open his arms out for us, the moment we turn back.

but we seem to easily forget the nature of our God: holiness. He loves us of course, but He hates the sin in us, and most often, the sin that we cling on to so much.

and well, that really hit me.

after all that i’ve done…

"… to pluck up, and to break down, and to throw down, and to destroy, and to afflict…"

so that was what He did: a lot of "gardening" in my life, taking things that didn’t belong there out, and of course it did hurt - the pride, the emotions, crucifying the flesh - but He needed to do that, so He could come close, and embrace me.

but that was not the end of the story.

"…so will i watch over them to build, and to plant, saith the Lord." Jeremiah 31:28

so now i’m all laid bare, vulnerable and useless, this is the part we all love to hear… He came to salvage. cleared the rubbish, and start afresh. just like the potter story. not only will He build up, He will plant, so that a new season can yield good fruit.

many people who hear my story are often depressed and feel guilty that their life seems so smooth compared to mine. people slap me on the back saying, "gene, you’re so brave. am so proud of you." but, what they don’t know, is the amount of work i had to go through before i can now stand and testify. the amount of stress, heartache, hurt and unbearable pain. but was all for His good and He DID GOOD!

you know, my blog was never meant for preaching. i know you all know me as a Christian, but never as one to stuff the Gospel down your throats. but you have to agree that you can see that in me, not for my strengths, but my weaknesses. the very fact i am who i am, is only through grace.

and the only reason this is so is only because of all He has done, after all i have done. that He loves me more than anything, and that is why He redeemed me from my own sin. and if you think it hurts to be with God, yea it does, but it hurts WAY more for Him.

i guess why i’m saying this is the revelation of the whole event. i went for a service one night, and as i was just worshipping, i felt like this whole chapter was done. and complete. and i got to go to a new level… like i’ve won this battle and now the next challenge would come, and we’ll see how far we can go this time.

after all, life is all about challenges. challenges to refine and perfect, until Christ comes again. so live life like it’s a challenge. then you will see how wonderful grace is.

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