no mixed feelings?

Every end of the year, after the Christmas mood has peaked and plateaued, i suddenly find myself in part-remorse-part-embracing mode, where i’m not sure how to react and adapt to a new year. if u don’t know me by now, i am an emotionally driven person. so although christmas is the best tie of the year for me, i dread the after-Christmas feeling of miserably clutching to the old while trying to be brave for the future.
so what’s the big deal you may think, as most people generally feel that way? well i realize a measure by which u see growth, is the way you adapt and improve. so for a long while now i realize, i did not grow. i vaguely recall the four characters in "who moved my cheese?" and how they lived their lives in comfort when they had this huge supply of cheese, and when suddenly the cheese was not to be found at the regular spot, the characters handled it in various ways. but not all handled well.
in retrospect, there were many days i would wake up and wonder, where has all my comfort gone? why do i live in such misery (some days), and why are not my days just like it was before. but it had all been for good.
it was also a year of divine favour. things miraculously fell into place, and favour like dripping honey from all aspects and mostly unexpected. wow…
no mixed feelings. in fact, i entered the new year with surety. things will be better and greater. and change is not always for good, but good always comes from change.

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