LooNeY BiN iNDeeD.
as i write this in retrospect, i’m sure a lot of the emotions have been released and i admit it might not be in the full swing of the actual day’s event, but i’m trying my hardest to recollect, in order that u all (hopefully) may empathize (and again, hopefully, not laugh) with me, on account i’m a person not easily terrified.
second day of psychiatry and i’m rearing to go. had a little fears but not entirely disinterested in the field. after all, it’s a challenge. and wat’s not to look forward to in a challenge, right?
we were yet again introduced to the staff at the male ward. at first we stood at the clerking and admin room just outside the "jail" of a ward. there was a briefing and since we weren’t a quiet bunch, curious onlookers come to watch via the "jail" window.
suddenly one of the patients started talking to me. asked my name! was frightened not to answer in case i provoked him, so i quickly mumbled my name. he caught it as…jenot v (something like that, i really didn’t bother to hear). so from that time on, he was trying to get my attention: talking, giggling, moving in the direction of my gaze… so many times i hid behind my frens, but still the fear in me kept increasing.
palpitations, sweaty hands and feet, even dizziness. we were inside the "jail". all i could think of is, get me out of here! finally after the introduction into the ward ended, i raced out. the gracious guard saw my frightened face, and let me out.
straight away, i called someone, anyone. had to be parents, thank God. they helped me then. although i really think it was only thoeretical advice, it was at least something… i cried halfway, the final outburst of emotion. because it was not a full crying session (gurls, i’m sure u can relate here; guys deep inside u know… :p), bits and pieces of emotion was still inside.
so i came back, a bit more composed, but noticeably scared, i acted as if i was ok. eh i’m a good actress, but this time, it just showed. i just sat down with the others, (who thankfully scooted over for me so i could feel comfortable and hidden from the looneys’ view) and read case notes. i found, much to my aghast, that most of them have some history of aggression, from mild to severe. 
well they started up again, and it was so severe, some good frens got us a place at the more secluded table. so we scurried over, and finally felt a bit of peace. they were still loudly calling, and they were all pointing etc, but so long as i can’t see them and everyone was around and distracting, that helped.
when we finally got out, we ate at the stall just outside the clinic. the guard who was gracious to me came over to find out how i was coping. that was so sweet of him. 
thanks Mr. Guard…
after that we had ward again, but no one felt like going. so we all skipped it. i had enough stress for the day… in the p.m. we had clinic and the looneys weren’t half as looney and they were mostly female. thank God! oh just before that we had our debriefing session by Dr. X, and when we related the incident, he said we would just have to deal with it. that it happens. man, that sucks! but he did mention, that is wat really goes on in everyone’s mind, just that normal people can control their emotions and thoughts better.
laydees and gents, that’s the gist of it, but i’m sure i’ll be talking bout it from time to time. life changing experience i’m sure.
till next entry!
Uncategorized | Comment (1)a week of solitude… NOT!
well it’s nearly the end of the week and all the goals i had in my mind to do this week has been silently sitting, waiting for some form of motion from me. been brain empty, solely on vacation mood… lackova brain syndrome really. anyways, i went to langkawi sun night. took 12hr long train ride, a taxi ride, an hr long ferry ride and a bumpy van (which had so many problems, i tell u soon!), to finally reach our destination.
ok first was the van bit… this rodents were all waiting for us. that’s how they feed. they have to con and cheat on poor, innocent, unsuspecting, (did i mention poor?) local tourists such as my family and i. they got a van, and we went off… two inches. the engine died on us and refused to start. as in we were in the middle of an intersection and the van just decided to nap!
so we waited more while he got some gas for the van.. it still din work! it was blazing hot and we were nearly well done, not to mention the two elderly couple and vanora that were with us… finally he got us another van, but that didn’t have gas either. wow i was burning from the inside too. gonna pull the guts outta him soon if i didn’t get a freaking van that works… finally he got a measly RM5 in the van and told us the station is nearby, don’t worry. just go straight and take a left at the lights. then we could fill up.
so the journey begin. we went straight like he said. straight. straight. still straight. freaking straight for ten minutes! i was so sure we were gonna hafta haul the freaking van back to the freaking company fellas cos it ran outta gas again. finally we saw the elusive traffic lights. wow… a huge burden fell off our shoulders upon reaching the station. you know it’s still a service to fill petrol here? not like PJ and KL where we gotta do everything ourselves. anyway those service people were so eager to "render help" in arranging activities for us. everyone’s a tour guide here. 
so anyway we went places, took lotsa pics but wow the scenery was fantastic… i was so happy really. was a weekend of fun, but tirelessly we ru about and do things, we don’t realise our exhaustion until we have our shower and drift off to sleep…
was a beautiful trip. am glad. thought block now… (signs of mania!)
ciao peeps…
Uncategorized | Comment (0)gone is the haze, here is the laze
holidays and laziness only mean one thing: weight gain invariably in the 22 year old girl who is doin medicine in IMU… only me lar actually… i foresee a lot of fat build up… hehehe
well the triad is currently residing in S2, supposedly studying, and of course all bout destressing… so well… the brain’s not working and i’ve come up with a new syndrome for it…Lackova Brain Syndrome… when u can’t think properly and other bodily functions are normal… dun thank me just doing my job.
just saw an old Taylor’s fren online… must admit i’m really happy to see him finally. haf lost contact with so many, it’s nice to remember and be reminded… i think that should be the way for all contacts direct and indirect, close and distant… too bad we dun live in an ideal world.
blibber blabber, i’m so full of blubber
so wide awake with no coffee to take
i think i’ll sleep but sleep won’t creep
rest my weary body bibbity bobbity
fatigued and drained, pity my brain
goodnight to all, try not to trip and fall, dun drink too much gall.
i’m ready for psychiatry… studying bout it as well…
ciaoz peeps!
Uncategorized | Comment (1)14 august 2005
what a day it is today… so many things happened, so much advancement. for one, it was amelia’s graduation today. she was gorgeous and everything but it was so crowded we just melted. and of course it was a rush for everyone…
Selangor 7 is 17! was so happy and proud esp for the discovery rangers - they were excellent… and was so proud of Denissa too: ballet couldn’t be expressed any more graceful. wow… and my cousin was 2nd to the best ranger for pioneers 2004! congrats to sarah and samuel too… m so happy for u two! dun keep the legacy only in your family… altho i know we did that… heheheh…
my lab coat’s ruined. so tomorz i’m goin to wear it then i’m gonna get me a new one…
so much to say, but no strength to say it. so i’m off to bed… need my ZzZ…
ciao peeps!
Uncategorized | Comment (0)So proud of you…
It’s that feeling of accomplishment, though it is not i who accomplished much.
Sometimes i wonder how life could turn out the way it did, except in God’s perfect plan.
But i thank Him, every second was a blast, a hollering roller coster ride, riding each moment with you. For everything we’ve endeavoured, every hurdle we’ve tackled, every milestone marked.
And this is one of those times. I’m so proud of you, my best friends. For deborah on a new winding journey in the arms of a man i truly trust, i’ll be here always. For amelia, the new status of accomplishment, the further career paths await you. And you both, i lurve u!
(another soppy moment in my blog. need to write happy things too… i will… as soon as i have it…)
jazz odyssey… i believe in malaysia!
man i’m seriously impressed. impressed that a woman that looks quite hot has a hotter voice. impressed that a pianist that plays jazz at such a young age hasn’t been given a royal robe already. impressed that the drummer who is female is good (that’s more than impressive!). impressed is hardly the word, but the thrill that i felt last night hadn’t left yet…
until she brought out the kazoo… ehehehe… ok but she’s really good so ppl, as she kept saying, "support your local artistes"…
and ben, i owe u one… been meaning to meet u up… when u not busy???
oh and vanora didn’t cry at bo ren, not bad! she was well behaved, the clever sweetheart! hugz to u babe!
ciaoz peeps!
Uncategorized | Comment (0)HaNGoVeR!
just to be clear, i didn’t consume alcohol… 
(amazing right?) yet still i feel as if last night was really WILD! phew, just recalling everything, not to mention the bare 4 hrs i slept since the session continued way into the night, with koko krunch, chocolate cake and lotsa "heart attacks"… heheheh
happy birfday boren, (you betta see this ok?) 
and make sure u dun make this an excuse to exercise more (getting older means easier adipose deposition)… but all in all was good yea… and since you liked my sms, will mention it here…
"wrinkly and old tho not feeling cold, it’s your day today so this msg’s to say, many happy returns to you and a better for you! happy birfday old fitness instructor!"
ok then, wanna go see Mr. Maha in ward 8B, he’s like super nice (and of course Mr. Ng for sha…ehehehe…) if i can make it to his ward round in time lar… ehehhe… ciao peeps!
Uncategorized | Comment (0)